I've never officially called myself a 'feminist', but I've always believed that girls can do everything boys can do. And I've played in the same sandbox with the boys throughout my military career in the Army, as well as my succeeding personal career as an engineer (~14% females in the workplace). I'm also living on my own in a nice two story house that I purchased myself, own one vehicle and paying off the second, and feel confident in my own body. By anyone's standards, as a woman, I've succeeded. (Unless you consider having children something a woman has to do to succeed, and then I have a whole separate discussion for you).
I've also read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, and I liked it. I'm also excited for the movie.
Now, I'm not going to go into what the story's about. Either you've read it and you already know, or you haven't and you only think you know what you're talking about. What I am going to talk about is why you should feel free to like the story if you liked the story and not have anyone pressure you into feeling differently, or feeling guilty. Liking 50 Shades does not make you anti-feminist. All the people and blogs and tweets that are berating us readers for even thinking this is acceptable and blah blah blah....well, they irritate me.
Why? Because they assume we are dumb enough to think that the relationship is good. I mean, I even read a blog where the man claimed that the readers thought, or would think, that was the ideal relationship. Are you kidding me? I am smart enough to know that the characters are flawed, and many times I found myself disgusted with the main character. That doesn't mean I can't like the book. Many times I've read material, celebrated classics included, where the actions of the main character went so far as to piss me off. But that only made me think what I would do in that situation, what I would say. I know without a doubt that I'd never let anyone treat me that way. But that only made me self-reflect and strengthen my own internal feelings about my personal worth. In no way would I date someone like Christian Grey. He may be hot, wealthy, sexually intense, but he is damaged goods.
That leads me into Point 2. Many times the story reminds the reader that Christian has a bad past. He has troubles, and those directly influence how he is and why he prefers certain things. But no one is perfect. The haters claim any woman in her right mind wouldn't be with a guy like that, that we should know our self worth, etc. etc. But at the same time, even if someone has chosen the wrong path, don't they still deserve to be loved? And there are people who choose that lifestyle for themselves--granted their relationships with each other will be different than that portrayed by Christian and Ana, as diverse as relationships can be--but if society rails so much against the Dom/Sub idea, they are also saying in the same breath that what those people choose to do is unacceptable, and I don't believe anyone has the right to criticize the romantic relationship and interests between two consenting adults. (Read: I support Dom/Sub relationships, I support Gay/Lesbian/Other-than-Hetero relationships.). Give women a break: most of the time, we are smart enough to know what we want, and will make our own choices, especially when it comes to our sexual desires. A woman can get excited over a whip in bed and still have the self-respect to walk out on a man who hits her. We aren't dumb. Let me reiterate: we are not stupid!
My third point is to again point out that the characters are FLAWED. And Ana is young! Just 21-22. Girls are known for being overly dramatic when they are in love, and say and do stupid things. It is extremely common. Anyone who's had a teenage girl knows this is true. Ridiculously true. And most girls have had that one friend that drops everything for the guy she likes.You know who I'm talking about. All this leads up to the thoughts and ideas Ana has about her lack of self confidence before meeting Christian, and how he completes her, yada yada typical teen romance mushy crap. It makes her believable. How do normal drinking-age girls act and talk when they're head over heels? If you want to write a 21-year-old girl that has it all together and doesn't need a man, you need to go do some real life research and meet a few of them. Women constantly strive to think and act like that, but for most of us, that wisdom doesn't come until later, after we've been through a few rough-and-tumble relationships.
The same blog post I grumbled about earlier also made a comment that Ana moped around and starved herself after the breakup until he came back into her life. Hello?! She just went through a breakup. That is normal activity for a female, even when she is the initiator of the breakup. Some girls just choose to go the tub of ice cream route.
My last point is that this is entertainment. Entertainment means that you can view something or read something or listen to something that you normally wouldn't be compelled to do yourself. It's exciting. It's stimulating. It's a journey. Books like this that go beyond our own comfort zone allow us to safely explore our feelings about topics without having to directly experience them. Why are movies about war so popular? Explosions? Zombies? We don't honestly want these things in our life, but we like to think about how it would affect us if it was. Most everyone I know has a 'zombie-apocalypse' plan. Most people that read 50 Shades won't go out and find their own Sub or Dom.
So, that's my point of view. Feel free to disagree, object, throw a tantrum, etc. I will respect that you have an opinion, but please do the same for me.
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